Relationships

We are about to have another cold snap. I wanted to get out to see Corrie before that happened. When it is really cold I just don't want to be out in it. If it hard for me to breath, I figure it really isn't all that great for Corrie to try and breath harder either. So before that snap came, I managed to get a little ground work and spend some time riding her, bare back again.

As I have my pony time, I like to think. I was was not working on anything difficult, but I was having a difficult time walking around a barrel. The barrel was in a corner and I would push her into the corner and around the barrel. Once through the corner and pasted the barrel, she would want to drift to the side again. I had to work really hard to keep her on a line. We did several other line across the arena too. Always a having to ride every stride. Aways her wanting to drift and needed support.

My mind wandered back to Hope. How I would just think about where I wanted to go and that is where we would go. I had owned Hope for several years and we had been through a lot together. It is a was not that way in the beginning. My first ride on Hope left me in the middle of a field with my left stirrup as she ran back to the barn. It looks a lot of time, a lot of fall, a lot of fights, and just general discussions, before we were able to reach the point that we were just comfortable being with each other.

When I first had Corrie enter my life, about a year ago actually, she was just a horse I used in lessons. When she became mine there was such a feeling of joy. The new part of a relationship where all things seem possible. I had grand ideas of driving her around my neighborhood and up and down the trails. I had a lot to over come but I had my new pony and that was going to make all things possible. It's the the most wonderful part of a relationship, isn't it? When it is all still so new. I decided I don't think so.

It is like planing a seed in the spring. The thought of how that plant is going to grow and give us tomatoes in a few months. All a gardener thinks of as she waters and tends that little seed is what it is going to be. Then come the weeding, which really rather sucks. The work that goes into the tending of that plant over shadows the thoughts of the ripe tomato that will make the most perfect salad complete. Sometimes the gardener may wonder if it is all worth it. Then one day the signs of fruit appear. The little tomatoes and again we are excited of the prospect of the fruits of our labor. Then the day comes and we pick the most perfect tomato, and it tastes so good. Of course so much can go wrong between the planting of the seed and the final harvest of the fruit.

Reflecting on new relationships vs. old ones, remembering Hope, I realized how valuable the old relationships are. We can't just jump to the old comfortable partnership though. We must go through all the work. We must make that connection to our partner, fall off a few times, deal with the disappointments of dreams changing or even redefining our goals wot match our abilities. It is all part of growing together and to reach that point were we are just comfortable.

Corrie and I are in that work part now. We are learning about each other. We are finding out what makes each other tick, and although sometimes that is fun, sometimes it is not. But the work is worth it in the end. So although I had to keep after her, in my mind I was thinking ahead to the time when we will just be old friends.

I shed a tear today . . .

By far my heart horse was Rebels Hope. The first time I lunged her after I got home she almost jerked my arm out of its socket. She left me in the middle of a field with my left stirrup after my first ride on her. Man those were good time! I ended up loving this horse more than anything.This is my new horse. She has some of the same attitude as Hope but is not Hope. This morning Kinsey came running up to the fence to. . . well . . . to be honest to get her hay, just like Hope would have done. She looked like Hope too.
My heart leap to my throat. A tear came to my eye:

My mind was momentarily confused. Hope just flooded my mind and I missed her oh so much. It lit a fire in my soul to do the thing I love most: to ride.