NEXT Weekend

Oh I really was going to go. I just forgot one little part of planning in the midwest, check the weather before you make plans, and not just noting the temperature. It was supposed to be in the lower 30's today. Not bad for this time of year.

Yesterday was so cold a trainer I know canceled lessons, and she will ride in anything. It was only supposed to be in the 20's but still. I thought she would ride in that. I thought to myself, I better check that weather again.

Sunday forecast:

Mostly Sunny Hi 30° RealFeel® 16°

RealFeel® 16°???

Ummm ...  Okay I admit it. city life is making me soft and if I am planning on not going up every weekend maybe I should choose a good weekend.

Next Sunday ... 

Hi 42° RealFeel® 45°

That is a bit better. And I have Monday off.

NEXT weekend it is.

I am actually really disappointed. I have been jumping around the house singing I am going to see Corrie for a few days now. Mike thinks I am a bit strange and says he understands but of course he doesn't. Not his fault. How could he possibly understand this strange attraction for a beast that literally could kill you if it wanted too. Not that Corrie would have murder on her mind, unless you are keeping a handful of peanuts from her and then I think she would only think it.


I have been down every weekend for awhile now. It is really taking a toll on the both of us. I just could not figure out what it was. Looking forward to the weekend is the highlight of the week. Then it would come and their would be an ache down deep that just couldn't be satisfied. I needed something. When the realization came, my horse, I just miss my horse. I decided to take action. Why sit around acting like I don't have a horse when I do ... she is just far away. So I can't see her every weekend. Once or twice a month? I think I can do that. Makes the money I pay for board at least a little more reasonable.


Until next weekend Corrie ... I miss you!

Same ol, Same ol

I really don't know what to blog about. Life, in it's normal cyclical way, seems to be getting more complex. So much of it is personal crap that you really wouldn't care that much about, personal insecurities that pop up from time to time.

We reap what we sow. I hope that I am sowing beautiful wild flowers, but sometimes those flowers turn out to be weeds. Although sometimes it is just about how you look at it. I am hoping for the best.

Corrie is making progress, but she would make more progress if I were a better rider. I admit that it is frustrating sometimes to sit up there and wonder why legs and arms won't work the way they should. Then a few moments later I look down and Corrie is doing exactly what I what, a beautiful little bend around a circle, nicely moving away from my leg. Sometimes wonder if she is just throwing me a bone, 'cause then she is back to trying her best to be a peanut rolling western pleasure horse.

We started doing ground work, it really is a great non threating way to establish a bond with a horse. She learns my body language and I learn hers. Done well, good ground work almost looks like a dance. Right now Corrie and I look like we are at middle school dance just trying to not step on each others toes. Time and patience and soon we will be ready for Dancing with the Stars!

I have other things that are stressing me out, don't we all. So many things seem up in the air at the moment. I have a feeling that tomorrow will looks a whole lot better.

Rain Rain. . . comes our way.

I have to be honest. I have not been working with the horses this week. I have been cleaning the house. Then today when I could work the horses, it has been raining all day. It comes back to this balance thing. Sometimes my personal life has issues I have to deal with and sometimes its the horses. I would love to have the resources to devote to the horses all the time, but like most people, I don't.

Since I am being honest, I will be a little more. I was in a bad place for a few years, a really bad place. I was very depressed. My life got very out of whack. My career, my emotional and physical health, all took a hit. I had no control and just felt so alone. I know that I am not alone feeling alone. A lot of us feel that way. Isn't that sad? So many of use all feeling alone? Anyway. . .

I am still getting back on my feet, but the one thing I realized about 3 years ago is that horses are my therapy; they are my antidepressant. Unfortunately they are expensive therapy and are not covered by insurance.

I tried to do things the cheapest way possible. One of the things I did was "ride the horse you have." I really shouldn't have. When I fell off Abby, I fell so hard. Not just physically either. I was trying to make a positive change and landed flat on . . . well my wrist! It was good though, all I could think about was how to get back in the saddle. It really showed me where I was and what was important to me. Horses are the thing that give me bliss and allows the rest of my life to made sense.

I look forward to the days I get to ride or drive with such a longing. Then I return home and look at a pasture of horses. None of which can be used for one reason or another. Kinsey needs a saddle and maybe some training. I would like to drive Abby but that is another harness and wagon, besides the training she would need. I need a safe environment to ride either of this horse as of right now and I don't have that either. My cart needs shafts. Madison needs a harness that would fit her and training. Ike really needs a new harness, one that has breeching. Sophie need training, she may need a harness or she may be able to use Ike's.

"Inch by inch, life is a cinch. Yard by yard it is very hard." Sometime when I try to focus on all of these things and get great grandiose plans I need to remember this. Focus on a few small things and then I can move on.

Thanks to a very special person, I am getting support to get things in a little more order. Kinsey leaves tomorrow to go to R. I am really looking forward to just seeing what he says. She maybe my next riding horse or she may be on the market. She is a good horse either way. I just want her to to be used and not sit through her prime. Thanks to R I am not as self conscious about my weigh, so Ike is just waiting until I get shafts. I ordered them this week, my reward for slaving away getting 1/3 of the house in order. Then I will have a horse that I can do something with finally. I think I can make his harness work for now, I just can't go very far because of the breeching problem and the terrain around here.

So as the rain comes, it makes the earth muddy. From that mud grows beautiful flowers, wholesome food, and life. I'll wait to see what will grow from this rain.