Same ol, Same ol

I really don't know what to blog about. Life, in it's normal cyclical way, seems to be getting more complex. So much of it is personal crap that you really wouldn't care that much about, personal insecurities that pop up from time to time.

We reap what we sow. I hope that I am sowing beautiful wild flowers, but sometimes those flowers turn out to be weeds. Although sometimes it is just about how you look at it. I am hoping for the best.

Corrie is making progress, but she would make more progress if I were a better rider. I admit that it is frustrating sometimes to sit up there and wonder why legs and arms won't work the way they should. Then a few moments later I look down and Corrie is doing exactly what I what, a beautiful little bend around a circle, nicely moving away from my leg. Sometimes wonder if she is just throwing me a bone, 'cause then she is back to trying her best to be a peanut rolling western pleasure horse.

We started doing ground work, it really is a great non threating way to establish a bond with a horse. She learns my body language and I learn hers. Done well, good ground work almost looks like a dance. Right now Corrie and I look like we are at middle school dance just trying to not step on each others toes. Time and patience and soon we will be ready for Dancing with the Stars!

I have other things that are stressing me out, don't we all. So many things seem up in the air at the moment. I have a feeling that tomorrow will looks a whole lot better.

Sunday Stills~ History

Sunday Stills this week is to take a walk into the past, at least 60 years past. A month or so ago I went to a trail drive. You may remember that. On my way how home I stopped and took some pictures of a historical marker. You can read about it here, I am not sure if the sign is 60 years old or not, but the stone one below is. If you click on the sign you will get a bigger picture, easier to read.Here is another marker of the event. A sad moment in history for Wisconsin.
I love these brown signs. They are all over Wisconsin marking historical happening. When ever we see one we stop and read them.

One important step: Find a trainer

*WARNING* This is a long post.
In Jillian Micheal's book on weight loss she says that you need a support base of: a partner in crime, a mentor, and a fan. Same can apply to any behavioral change your trying to make. This post is about the mentor. It has been something I have wanted to blog about for awhile. I think that getting a trainer is the second most important thing I did to start the journey of getting over fear, yet it took me forever to do it. The first was to change my mindset to be more positive. After that I think finding a trainer I could work with has been priceless. It may be costing me a pretty penny, but I am riding again.

Sensei was not the first trainer I tried though.

I did find one great trainer a few years ago, but she had some issues of her own to deal with. So while it was great in lessons the rest of the time it was like dealing with a time bomb. She did teach me so much about getting a better seat. She also gave me lot of back handed complements. Like telling me that while other people would say I was too heavy to ride, she would work with me because she though I rode well. Or that I shouldn't worry about my large calves because that was the way I was and even though most people want thin calves, I would never have them but that was okay. Well I never was upset about the size of my calves until after that conversation. I stayed with her for as long as I could because she knew her stuff about biomechanics and was helping in that area so much. Finally it was too much though.

I left her just after I bought Abby. I actually would have never bought Abby if I had known I would lose my trainer. At that point though, I sort of thought I was well on my way and could handle Abby on my own. Besides she had ingrained it in my head that I was so heavy no other trainer would work with me. I was terrified of looking for another one. FYI I am what they call painfully shy.

So with the idea that nobody would work with me on their horse and having no way get my horse to someone or a place to have someone work with me at my place I was stalled for a few years.

During that time I was searching for someone to teach me to drive. I could not find anyone. I would ask around, talk to people who did drive, and nobody in my area taught driving. Or at least that is what I thought. Now just before I bought Kinsey I had gone to look at a very short and ornery Haflinger. I also did a little research about the breed. Wading through the mire of information on the net, I found Sensei. I did not call him then. *kicks self in butt*

Getting the boat load of trouble called Kinsey, I had about given up the idea of riding all together. Horses will be part of my life though, and I wanted to give driving another chance. So finally I did something smart. I called Sensei. Shyness almost won over and if I were not so desperate it really may have won, but I picked up the phone and called.

For driving lesson mind you, nothing else. I was NOT going to take riding lesson from a western guy even if he would let me ride his little horses, something that I highly doubted anyway. Well you know the rest of the story from there. I started driving and then starting sitting on a horse. Finally riding, now I have Corrie. Just goes to show that you can definitely get help from outside your chosen discipline.

If it were not for Sensei I would not be so happy riding again. I would be sitting with two horses I could not do anything with and missing out on riding for yet another summer. Getting a trainer was pivotal.

For the past three years I have been wanting to ride. I have been making little attempts at riding. I have been working, sort of, with my horses. Nothing came to pass because I needed that outside pair of eyes to help me get to my goal. Okay another true confession, I have ADD.

Look a pretty little pony:



See?



I get distracted by this idea and the next. I forget where I am going and end up at the start again. I have done this over and over again. That is one HUGE help that Sensei has given me. When I go out to the barn with some crazy idea, he takes me by the shoulders and turns me back to the goal.

Oh yeah a big pretty pony that I can ride and drive. I remember where I am going now.


That is something that a good trainer should be able to do. Help you find your goals and then stick to the path that takes you there. Weekly I would hear questions about getting my shafts for my cart, ground driving Ike, selling Abby and Kinsey, and other things I had to do to get on the right path for me.

Some of those decisions were really hard to make, like selling Kinsey and Abby. It about tore my heart. I really needed that objective person to help me move on from that point where I had horses that I could not use and were not suited for me at all to finding them good homes so that I could move on to a horse that is much more suited for me. It really has been very liberating.

Not any trainer could have or would helped me through all that. Not every trainer is suited to every student. I told you about one nightmare trainer that was actually good at training, but not as general person. Several years before her I hired a British guy who scammed me out of a lot of money. He seemed knowledgeable about horses in the beginning, but later said some odd things. I would blame odd information on that the fact that he was British. He is actually partly to blame for my fear. Those are the only two trainers I tried to have help me but they really put a bad taste in my mouth about getting help. That doesn't mean though that their aren't great trainers out that that still would not have been right for me. Keep looking until you do find one that you can work with.

So I understand how hard it is to find a good trainer. It isn't easy. I was so gun shy before Sensei. I did not even trust Sensei for a few months. Driving he was knowledge about, but I was not so sure about the riding part. Turns out that he is incredibly knowledge about about horse and people. My first few ground driving lessons were pretty easy stuff. Once we got out in the cart, I think he knew that I just needed to be working with the horse to work through my fear. We did a lot of talking, joking, and teasing. Probably because I was so tense. It was over time that I started to trust him and the horse. So give yourself a few lesson to get to know each other.

It is vitally important to trust your trainer. If you don't feel you can trust him, find one that you can. Especially if you are overcoming fear. You are hiring this person to help you work though some truly scary emotions. A lesson for a person overcoming a fear is very different than a learning to ride/drive lesson. Sensei did not push anything on me, unlike a normal lesson where a good trainer should be pushing you. Or maybe I should say that he was much more subtle about it. He is always waiting for me to make the first move, yet at the same time introducing me to new situations. I was nervous at times but trusted he wouldn't put me in a situation I couldn't handle.

As I get more confident he pushes more, but again that is how it should be. He puts little challenges out there for me. Both to work through on my own with Corrie and in lessons. He still realizes I have issues though. Now that I am feeling more confident, it does not mean that I don't still have fear. I think he realizes that more than I do, he has worked with a lot of people with fear issues. I sometimes think I can go out and do try something new and he will tell me to wait a bit more. Or more often shake his head when I tell him what I did and then tell me to wait a bit.

Trainers are there to be objective and sometime give you a reality check. You need to trust this person. And they need to be knowledgeable enough to be worthy of that trust, again, especially if you have fear issues.

Oh but don't think that I am saying you shouldn't question this person. I think Sensei would be very disappointed in me if I didn't question him to some extent. I want to know why. I don't just assume that he knows what he is talking about, likewise he asks me to explain why I do what I do. I think it is a huge red flag when a trainer doesn't like to be questioned or can't tell you why they are doing something. I am getting better about asking question if I don't understand.

And this maybe one reason that I really like Sensei. He does question me about what I do. Everything I do and rarely excepts an answer of "I don't know." At least not without a follow up lecture as to why it should or should not be done. If I can justify myself, even if it is different than how he does it, it's all good. I am sure that there are some that that would drive them batty.

Which is why you need to find a trainer that works for you. One that you can get along with. Your trainer maybe completely different than mine, but as long as she is knowledgeable, trustworthy, objective, and someone you can work with to meet your goals your on the right path. Just try to find someone and don't give up if the first one doesn't work.

I really wanted to share this because in my journey finding the right trainer has been vital to my success and will continue to be. I did not realize how important that one choice was going to be. Sensei is still going to be there through a whole lot more with me. Getting so I can drive Corrie on my own, bringing her home and driving her around here, going for a trail ride, cantering, and building a good solid relationship with Corrie so that I am not fearful to do all the above things. I know that my journey is far from over but I have a mentor for this journey.

Opps a little too much

I ride just about every day now. It is so wonderful! I love it.

For the last few days I have been going when it was really hot though, just how my schedule worked out. I went out on Wednesday and I was in shorts and thought, I'll just hop on bareback.

Okay on March 11 was my first ride. I rode twice that month. April I rode twice and twice in May. That is a total of 6 times before June. On June 3 I had my 7th lesson and was the first time I rode Corrie. Total I have has have 8 riding lesson. It has only been for the past three weeks that I have been able to just go out and ride. And only the last two weeks that I have been riding almost everyday. Why I am I repeating all this? Because I have not had that many ride yet, maybe 23 or 24 total ride in the past 3 years. Most in the last month.

So back to my story. I took Corrie out, groomed her up. Lined her up next to the fence and slipped on. We walked to the middle of the arena and I could just feel it. If she spooked even a little I was going to come off. Where has my balance gone? I slipped off before something bad happened and saddled up.

Oh I am so happy that I got on her, but I honestly could not have ridden her bareback yet. She was very "up" for her. We had two minor spooks and both time I though, well that would have gone badly if I didn't have this saddle. Such a disappointment but having really thought about how long it really has been, I guess I am not doing too bad.

* * *

I found a bitless bridle I can borrow. It is a Dr. Cook's knock off. I have thought about trying it out on Corrie but just have not worked up the nerve to try it. I don't know why, I don't use a lot of rein anyway. Maybe sometime this weekend I will put it on her and see what happens.

Weight Loss Wednesday: Support for the Girls

Yup another post that is about support. When overcoming any obstacle we need support, sometimes lots of it. Like many women I have a particular need for support when exercising or trotting. Yup ladies, my girls and I need support.

For some a good bra is anything you can grab. I happen to not be one of those women. I am rather endowed, as they say. That won't change that much as I lose weight, I just happen to be larger in the boobs department. How I hate women telling me I am lucky, really there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. So keeping the girls in control during trotting or exercising is of the up most importance.

Unfortunately it is hard to find a good sports bra for, shall we say, a shapely lady such as myself. I guess bra makers figure we aren't going to exercise. Maybe a good bet, but when we do decide to get in shape we have difficulties getting the support we need. Help often comes from the most unlikely places doesn't it?

At the Columbus Carriage Classic was a vendor from Essential Bodywear. Inc. As I was walking around looking at hats, harnesses, and what nots, a woman called out to me. "Can I support you today?" Well, although I was a little embarrassed, I was even more embarrassed the last time I was riding and my boobs were bouncing all over the place. So I let her show me the heaviest duty sports bra I have ever seen. According to the sales rep a lot of the woman on The Biggest Loser wear these bras.

This this has it all! Wide straps over the shoulders, so it doesn't dig into my shoulders or fall off. The back has complete support, it rises high on the back and has criss crossing fabric to give plenty of strength. This is not a shaping bra, you do end up with a uniboob, but everything is so well held together it makes it totally worth it. It was incredibly comfortable considering its function and it has the added bonus of helping you have good posture!

Getting into it was one thing, but once I was all snapped in I tried the bounce test. Awesome! No bounce and I have to sit up straight too! I bought one on the spot and came home and played Wii Active.

Wii Active is a much better workout than Wii fit. In Wii Active there is more jumping and running in place. Just moving in general. It is hard to do with your girls leaping out of their hammock. Because I get a much better workout with Wii Active, I would prefer to do that. Well the Ultimate Sports Bra passed the Wii Active test. I could run in place with no escapes!

The big test of course was riding. I rode Corrie on Sunday outside in the round pen. It was our first time outside. I was nervous and she was a little too. After walking around and around like a pony ride at a carnival, I finally settled us both down. So I asked for a trot. Wow! I felt like I could sit up and put my shoulders back. Something that is hard with extra jiggalage. This bra totally passed the trotting test.

At $66 it is expensive, but on of those expenses that was well worth it. Especially if most sports bras you are able to find are a joke. I got mine in a the next side smaller than the vendor had first suggested, but I think that with weight loss on my mind it was the best plan, I want to be able to wear this bra for awhile.

Speaking of Wii Active. I started the 30 challenge on Sunday. I have never made it to the end of a challenge yet. This time I will! I mean, I WILL. Or or. . . I don't don't know, I am not posting pictures of myself in a swimsuit though. I like you guys to much to do that to you.

The perfect horse . . .

. . . for me.

At the Carriage Classic this weekend I saw lots of beautiful horses. A hackney horse that just took my breath away. Such beautiful movement! I read my dressage magazines and blogs and look at the big bold warmbloods with huge movement and I drool. Then the exotic breeds always catch my eye: Fjord, Marwari, Andalusians, Gypsy, and Frisian. All these breeds have some draw for me. Even the colorful buckskins and paints make me look twice. Looking for a new horse opens up all the different possibilities of what to own.

Watching the beautiful hackney this weekend I had an epiphany. That horse was so hot and sensitive, he was beautiful to watch. I don't want a horse like that. Other horses were so large and powerful looking, why I thought I needed a big horse I don't know. Still others are still so rare that the price tag on them is beyond my budget. Someone very wise told me that those horses are beautiful to watch and that is just what I should do, watch them, not own them. At the end of the day the horse that really made me look twice was the little haffie that took his driver around the ring and won the class: calmly, sanely, and safely.

Ya' all are smart. Ya know where this is going! Ya know that my heart is being taken by Corrie, a lil Thelwell pony. I gave Sensei a check, so she will be mine at the end of the month. Why wait, I mean I don't think I could find a more perfect horse for me. For every behavior that drives Sensei nuts, I find it totally endearing. She has a normal marish attitude and will do what you want, but holds out just a tiny bit. Cracks. me. up! Nor do I think that I could find a horse that I have as much confidence in, yet still offers me a bit of a challenge.

Here is my first mention of her, and it sums her up so well:
"I drove Corrie. She is a nice mare, but not the most cooperative. She has a bit of a stubborn streak. If you ask her to move up she will take one step with her front feet, but refuse to move her back. She really cracks me up! I actually like her."

I thought about checking out horses on the internet and traveling around to look at them in the surrounding states but all I could hope to get from that would be a snap shot in time. I would not be able to see the horse in different situations and try the horse out over several weeks or months. Horses can differ from day to day, in rain, heat, wind, etc. Since I really wanted a very specific kind of horse, I didn't think that that method of finding a horse was going to work for me. Plus I really didn't have the confidence to try out all those horses. It has only been eight months since I broke my wrist and about six months since I started working with Sensei, four since I started riding.

It is only with Corrie's help that I actually have started making a lot of progress. I need a horse like her to go out and fool around with. To just ride. Oh sure, she is not perfect. She loves food more than life itself. She can be a little lookie when driving and riding. She can be a bit of a plug if you let her. Then she spooks at who knows what. When she gets frustrated or tired her head becomes a 2 tons weight and she can't hold it up. None of it really scares me though.

On the plus side, I have worked with Corrie for at least 3 months. I have been driving her in lessons and for the past month, as you know, riding her. She has all the basics for riding and driving. Some of the parts need to be put together but the foundation is awesome. I have seen her in wind, cold, wet, and heat. I have ridden her inside and outside. I have driven her down the road and around traffic. Another huge plus is that someone who has seen me riding recently and understands what some of my strengths and weaknesses are and knows Corrie and what her strengths and weaknesses are thinks that we would be well matched.

So she is mine. Not going to be a dressage star, but going to be a good minded mount to ride and drive around the neighborhood. Any horse can do lower level dressage as long as they are sound, and she is sound. Not any horse could make me feel safe and she does.

What about Abby? Well Abby is going to be traded to Sensei so he can train her and find a good home for her. He does a good job of matching up people and horses. I think that this is the best thing for her, I can't do what he can. I can't pay him for all the training he is going to give her. I think this is the best shot she has at a good future. In exchange he is giving me a great deal on a wagon and harness. I just have to say that Sensei is the bomb and I really owe him a lot. He really has helped me get my life with horses back.

Columbus Carriage Classic

The Columbus Carriage Classic is held every Father's Day weekend. It is a formal event. Classical music plays during the classes. As the classes are going on the announcer tells neat little facts about the horse, driver, and their vehicles. The Columbus Carriage Classic is an ADS sanctioned show.
The horses, drivers, and carriages are all beautiful. A lot of driving in a show is about turn out. From little miniature horses pulling medowbrook carts to percheron horses pulling antique carriages, everything is polished and shining. They are all just stunning and oh so interesting. Some are vintage, others are reproduction. One beautiful carriage was pulled out of a bog earlier this year. Another was found in the back of a barn. Yet another was a reproduction made from detailed pictures of the original. Every thing from governess carts to surries. So many different styles it is hard no to find a few that one would love to own. The range of breeds vary just as much. Unusual breeds like the hackney horse to your more common quarter horses are all groomed with great care. Being Wisconsin, Haflingers and Fjords are a popular choice too. VSE (very small equines) ponies, and horses: the differences in sizes in even one class can place a shire next to a miniature. The fashion, oh I am not much in to fashion, but the hats on the ladies and gents transport you back in time to when it was an everyday event to see a haflinger, like this little stallion, taking his mistress to town.

Classes range from basic reinmanship (something akin to an equitation class) and pleasure driving to cones. Cones obstacle classes are kind of like a trail obstacle class. Horses have to follow numbers to various obstacle and complete it with out knocking tennis balls off of cones. It is rather fun to watch.
Another fun class was the carriage dog. Judging was mostly on the behavior of the dog, who must not be attached to the vehicle and is disqualified if she jumps out. First place was this boxer and second was a mini aussie in the cart behind the boxer. All the dogs were so well behaved and is another reason why I love driving, I can share it with my canine friends too.It was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect, I found some great buys. I'll tell you about that later this week. Meet some very nice people and beautiful horses. I need to get driving!