Back to the fear issues

Yeah, I have this blog and it is about getting over the fear of riding but I end up talking a lot about other stuff. Well didn't have a plan there for awhile so there was not much to talk about in terms of fear. I have a week, though, to build up my nerve to ride Bill.

I did the first few steps. First I found someone that does not care that I am overweight. That was really a huge issue for me. A lot of people don't think someone of my size should be riding, but we do. People who weight more than me ride. Frankly some of them do it much better than their lighter weight counter parts and are easier on the horse. Anyway that is a topic for another time.

The next step: I found a support group for the weight and riding issue. This may have been an even bigger issue for me. I really kept myself from riding with the excuse, I too fat. Well when Amanda at A Far Girl and A Fat Horse started a fourm, I realized that I was not alone and that there were a lot of people who weighted more than me that happily and successfully rode happy horses. I am not going to hurt my horse, especially since I am not going to be ripping over a cross counry field, I am going to be walking, trotting at most, at the moment.

I found a horse that I can ride, Bill, maybe. Bill is a 10 year old halflinger gelding. He stand 13.3 but is as wide as they come. He is used to carrying a heavy rider and is a pretty laid back guy. I just adore Bill actually. A little snotty, but I love snotty horses. I don't know why. Bill has carried children around safely so he is not that snotty.

Finally the trainer I am working with is pretty laid back. I don't really need riding lessons, I just need to get back in the saddle and maybe a few nudges along the way to push myself a little further.

Now I just have to "ride" Bill everyday in my mind's eye. Everything from getting on him to walking around the ring, finally getting off. I need to plan out my script today and start rehearsing it. I also want to find some videos of people riding halflingers and having successful calm rides. I also have to write some affirmations to the effect that I am a calm and confident rider, and able to deal with any situation.

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Mean while back at the ranch. Things are continuing on. Abby and Kinsey got to meet on the same side of the fence today. They have been standing next to each other on opposite sides of the fence all week so the greeting when much as I expected. The sniffed each other and went about eating hay out of the same pile. Rather sweet actaully. Now everyone is just chilling.