I have not talked that much about fear lately and what I am doing to over come it. I have been frustrated by recent developments and even entertained thoughts of not riding. I am not going to let these little set backs stop me though. I will ride again. When? Well that depends on a few factors.
One of these factors is a new fear that has cropped up due to the recent . In Jane Savoie's book, It's Not Just About the Ribbons, she talks about reasonable fear. I mean we are climbing abroad a 1,000 lb animal. We have realistic fears and unrealistic fears. For most of us, fearing that we can not hold on to the reins is not realistic. Most of us have no difficulty grabbing the reins and holding on. With my wrist this has moved from an unrealistic fear to a realistic one. I can not make a full tight fist with my right hand. If the horse really wants to pull the rein out of my hand, I can't keep a tight enough grip.
My fear that a horse could pull the reins out of my hands came true during this past driving lesson. Bill got a little fresh and the reins kept slipping through my right hand. I had to reach over with my left hand and hold them. As I could only really hold with the left hand, Bill stated turning left. It may not sound difficult but grabbing the right rein with the left hand and pulling the horse around is a little more difficult that it sounds. I should add here that Bill was in a rope halter so I didn't have the added benefit of a bit on my side. R. showed me a different way to hold the reins so I had more control.
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After I was able to hold the reins in a manner that gave me more control R. complemented me on my hands. I have had trainers tell me in the past that I have good hands, and also a good seat, so isn't it ironic that I am still fearful of riding? After explaining the whole sordid tale of my decline from fearless rider to fearful one, R. told me he had a confidence building horse that is used with riders that have issues. If I took riding lessons with him I would ride that horse. Score! I have a horse to ride.
When I start out the lesson this week. I was just happy that I had found a driving instructor to help me learn to drive safely. Thoughts were spinning around that I might just drive from now on. Now I have possibilities again. I have a horse to get my confidence back on. I am getting my little guy ready to drive. All in all things are starting to look up again!