It was a test: Can I hitch up on my own. Sensei gave me a D-. All in fun but still I failed at hitching. Oh it was bad. I knew what to do first, but I grabbed the tugs before I put the shafts in. I get so nervous when someone is watching me I get especially nervous if I know that they are looking at every little thing I am doing, which Sensei was. Well of course he was and with good reason, the last thing he wants is for me to bring Corrie home, hitch her up and have wreck.
So I can harness and get her in the shafts fine, but Sensei has always done the actually putting to with me. He also does a few things that I don't normally do. Oh he has explained everything and has told me over and over again why we do it in this order and what to do, but ,again,I got nervous. So I don't get to hitch up on my own yet. I am slightly frustrated by this because I knew how to hitch up the horse and messed it up. I hate not doing things right, it frustrates me to no end. I try to remember what I tell my students when they don't do so well on an assignment: what we have learned is that we need to practice this skill more. No biggie. Sensei will watch me a few more times, I'll do it right and I'll have learned better habits.
Luckily for me I have a rock solid horse and trainer. I can screw up pretty badly and Corrie will just stand there. I mean I have done some things and been so thankful that my horse is so well trained and has such a good mind. She just reminds me every day why buying her was the right choice. I have also learned that buying a horse based on who trained it can be a wise decision too. Also I have a trainer that is experienced enough and concerned enough about safety that he he is always ahead of the game. He stopped me before I screwed up too bad. He always questions me about what my plan "B" is.
Last year I signed up to learn sign language. On the first day the teacher told us that it is harder for adults to learn a new skill like a language because they are so much more afraid of being embarrassed by doing something wrong. That is me to a "t". Not to mention that that personal problem I discovered makes me even more on edge about doing the right thing. Pleasing people is a real issue with me.
I'm good though. All is okay. It was a learning experience, hurt my ego a bit but that will heal with time. Riding to day was great. She is getting to be such a little super star. Besides Hope, this is the best horse I have ever owned.